The first time I met Dia and her husband was online, after getting out of a very long relationship I knew I wanted to try being with a woman. It had always been a fantasy of mine and with my ex being out of the picture, I could finally fulfill it.



We met online on aff, she was closer to my age where as her husband was in his thirties but I was ok with it. After a week or two of talking online we agreed to meet at the strippers for a night out. I must say I love going to the strippers, I am a shoe addict and Ive been asked if I was a stripper because of the shoes I wear out.



We met at their hotel room, I was so scared I was shaking I thought that she would turn out to actually be a really overweight girl and not at all what I had imagined. But she wasn't, she was gorgeous if only a lil bit overweight. Her husband wasn't that much of a looker but they seemed perfect for me. We went out and had an excellent night of drinking and laughing. We went back to their hotel room and took a bubble bath in their giant jet tub. It was hard at first to get used to her husband touching me and flirting with me with her right there but it worked out.



After trying her new paddle on my butt we explored each other. Dia was a biter, to the point that I had bruises on the inside of my thighs for over a month. She left me moaning and squealing, I am sure everyone in the hotel rooms next to ours heard me. The sex was amazing, and so much fun. We became quite close over the next few months, I was their pet as well... But I will leave the rest for another time

The men I attract

"wusp im pooleboy im 24 i work at the sayway gas bar down town i like working there my boss is the boom :) :) i dont have a car i bike to work it cepper that way lol lol. i like to find one some go out have a good time play some pool go and see a moive or go for walk get a maik shake and some one to talk to i like any tape of muics"

This was a message I got the other day on one of my vanilla dating websites. This is the types of guys that respond to me... lovely isnt it



I have rules about replying to messages. First of all I don't reply to just... " Hey how's it going?" and I never reply if the person does not have a profile picture....



But I couldn't stop myself from replying from this one, I said two things...



1. Use spellcheck!! For gods sake that was painful to read



2. I am most defiantly not interested



Did I also mention that he had a kid?

Worst Luck

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It all started...

Many people have different stories about how they knew they were going to be kinky, or how they came to like the things they do. As a kid I was the youngest of many siblings, some step and other half siblings. I lived with my father when I was 12 and I had satellite television in my room. I remember there being a channel 745 that I knew I should not be watching. It was sex tv. I was very curious about this show, and they liked to show "cartoons" I can remember vividly one of them that's stands out above the rest

It was what I later learn to be a show about pony girls and their Mistress. It was done in an animated style. It started with a women riding on a carriage, covered in leather and holding a crop and reins to her "horses" They were indeed women dressed in latex with halters and reins in their mouths. In high heels they clipped and clopped along as fast as they could. After whipping them and forcing them to go faster, they finally arrived back at their mansion.

The Mistress then tied her "horses" up and raised them, after gagging them and stripping them naked she washed them clean, putting streams of water in places that made the girls wiggle and moan. I remember wondering why she was doing that, and why the girls had such wide eyes and moans from behind the ball gag. After I watched it I tried to recreate it in my journal but I didn't know how to, because I was confused to what was actually happening. But I knew for a fact I liked when the woman cracked the whip, and how the girls hung tied up for her.

I am not into pony girls but that show started me on a long path for my life.

I am very submissive in general, I am very sure people will disagree with me but thats alright. I do not like to make the first move, because I don't want to be a bother. If he wants a kiss for the first time then he can kiss me. If he wants something most times I am fine with someone taking it from me.

Like in my last post when my "date" took my hand and said come here. Many thoughts ran through my head like:
If I do go quickly does that make me a slut?
If I dont fight him a lil will he be bored with me?
Should I really be making out with him?

All these thoughts seem to paralize me, I try to be perfect for him. It is better to have someone say come sit on my lap now! rather then ask me.

I dont like to ask people out for the reason that if they have time and want to go out with me then they will ask. Of course I will express that yes I would like to go out with you at sometime.

And in sex for the first time I do not know what a man likes to be done to him. After finding myself nervous and confused I let a recent man that I am friends with take control. By him telling me "suck my cock" I knew that it would please him if I did. And in knowing that it would please him it made me happy.

So if you wanna kiss me then kiss me.

He had the most exquisite teeth. But I didn't learn that until later.

I met him online, and after chatting for a day he decided that he wanted to meet me. We met at Tim Horton's, I like always was extremely nervous to be meeting someone from online. He knew that I was looking for a dominant man and that is why he contacted me. He was shorter then most guys I date, only 5'7 but still taller then me. After spending half an hour flirting he invited me back to his place. He raced ahead of me in his new car, making me chase him.

While there I sat on the couch as he turned on the t.v and made his lunch for the next day in the kitchen. We sat and laughed at some comedy show. He put his arm around me and we cuddled together. Turning to me he held out his hand and said
"Come here"

I panicked and asked where? why?

He took my arm and pulled me onto him, kissing me and holding me to him tight. He was a good kisser and although he seemed small and skinny he had quite a strength in him. I ended up on my hands and knees on the couch with him bending over me. He would hold my chin in his hand, just the top of my throat making me twitch with pleasure at his control. Starting at my ear, he would drag his teeth over my neck never quite biting but more dragging and scratching. Having never had anyone do that to me, it was amazing. Smiling and pushing harder every time I moaned.

He lead me to his bedroom, tossing me on the bed to take advantage of me. Stripping me down into my underwear and bra i stopped him and helped remove his clothes. I pushed him to the bed and took him into my mouth. Rubbing him with my hands as I sucked him eagerly, making him moan and grabbing my hair and pushing me down. After shuddering, he exploded in my hands and mouth. Sighing happily i lay down with my head on his chest. He smiled at me and said he hadn't gotten off on a blow job since high school. I took it as a compliment. He rolled over and fell asleep.

In the morning he kissed me on the forehead and said he had never had a girl let him take off all her clothes but made him stop at her underwear. I thought to myself, I never have full sex on the first date. He laughed at me and said he still had a good night.

He never did call me again.

I find within me there are always contradictions, or inconsistencies on what I want to wear, what I want in a lover. When I think I’ve figured out something it twists and changes on me, it becomes something else.

There are days when I want to be dark, demented and terrifying. To wear my leather skirts and big black boots, to be stronger and bolder. To become sexier and have the ability to seduce. And I want to be beaten, be taken by a strong man. To be used for his pleasure and not mine. At this time I want to be tied and gagged, fucked without mercy.

And then I want to be sweet, innocent and perfect. I want to be the sweet girl dressed in something cute and loved. To live in a clean, pure world where everything is vanilla, and white. If I could I’d have two different sides of me. Worlds apar, they would have different lives, different friends.

But even more I love being the sweet innocent girl you see at work, that becomes this sexy dark vixen.

Introduction

Welcome to my blog, you will have to wait and see what it is going to be exactly. I am a submissive girl that is 20 living in Canada. This blog is where I will write about my realtionships and those that I experiance new things with. Through my journey into finding out exactly what I want in life. I hope you enjoy.