Hail Mary

I am a very shy person, I hate to ask for anything it really bothers me. I don't talk about myself very opening, about what I enjoy or desire. When I was younger my Mother was married to a very mean man that taught me that I was to be seen and never heard. For hours he would lock me in my room because he didn't like me. Because of this I am a very private person, I do not talk openly about things in my life to people. And I never ask for anything that would singly benefit myself.

So in an effort to stop that I am going to pour it all out here.

I have always wanted to be able to sit at someones feet and tell them all my wrong doings and discretion's. Have them take punishment out on my butt by spankings, I always feel in my fantasies that having that outlet where I am punished lets me let go of these things. I have a habit of obsessing over something I have done wrong, say at work or in my personal life. But to hand all of it over to someone and have them absolve me of them would be heavenly.

Now looking back over it, it does look quite a bit like a Catholic confession well minus the spanking. I am not Catholic nor have I ever had a chance to confess. It would be lovely though.

I rolled over and found myself trapped in his arms. He had snuggled up behind me and had wrapped me in both his arms. I couldn't help but smile at him as he dreamt.



We had decided to go for a movie, but it turned out that our movie wasn't going to be on until the next weekend. So after going for Chinese food we ended up on the couch watching movies. I told him I was freezing so Cam brought me a blanket. I am always cold, I don't know what is wrong with me but I have such bad circulation that I always need a blanket. I ended up kind of falling asleep with my head on his shoulder when he just looked at me and said "why don't we lay down"? Instantly I thought that he was trying to make a move on me as it was our third date together. Hesitantly I did lay down with him, with my head on his chest. At one point I actually did fall asleep laying with him. Next thing I knew he was standing over me saying something, I tried to shake my head, but I just didn't understand him at all. Next thing I knew he was walking away from me. Five minutes later and he still didn't come back, confused I walked to the bathroom and as I finished I could hear him say my name.



I looked into his room and seen him lying there on his bed. He looked at me again and asked if i wanted to borrow some pajama bottoms. I nodded and thanked him still half asleep. I changed from my jeans into the borrowed pants. I crawled into bed with him and he kissed me on the forehead and lay down with me. I kept expecting him to try to fondle me or make a move, but he didn't. We ended up sleeping till noon the next day, as we were laying there he told me he couldn't help not wanting to wake me up when we were on the couch because he was so comfortable with me there. I found new respect for him as he left me unmolested in his bed. Did I mention we shared a kiss or two. I am not a big kisser at all but when we kissed I felt a bolt of electricity shoot right out through my feet. I have a good feeling about him.

2nd Date

Cam gave me two options for dinner, either Pizza Hut or an upscale expensive place. After arguing for a little while he ended up choosing for me and took me out for a nice supper. We met there, and he walked me inside with his hand on my arm. The waiter sat us down and we got to see out over the lake, it was simply gorgeous. Just the way all the light twinkled off the water was just breathtaking. We talked for hours while sitting there, getting to know each other more. I learned that he liked country (ick!) and he learned that I like horror movies more the romantic ones. When we decided to leave, I tried to convince him that we should have gone and played at the park. As swings are some of my favorite things in the world, but seeing as how its winter and that it was minus 20 out we went to his house.



To say I was nervous would have been an understatment, I wondered if he was going to try and push me for sex and what I would do if he did. We ended up playing video games and being the dork and geek that I am, I can say that I honestly whipped his butt. After playing the games he had he and I drove to Wal-Mart and picked up a new game. It happened to be a ninja game, and incase you dont know I am a ninja on my own (hehe) We ended up playing about half the game and sat up until 1am laughing and joking.





We ended up talking about past realtionships and why we are single now. Turns out that he has only ever dated two girls but has had long realtionships with both. Its kinda nice to know that he didnt have a bunch of one month realtionships. He asked me about my last realtionship and I told him about my ex who didnt have a learners license or even a job for most of it. I told Cam that I had paid for everything and took care of him. Cam asked me if I was a good reciever because obviously I am a giver. I had to admit that I dont recieve very well, I dont know how to with out looking like I am greedy. He just smiled at me and said well we will just have to fix that.



Finally I decided that I would go home, he walked me to my car and gave me a hug again even though I was hoping for a kiss. He called me to make sure I had gotten home safe.