Friday, January 8, 2010

I have been posting a lot lately at inconsistentdoll.tumblr.com feel free to follow there and read more.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Over the Knee

I have always had the fantasy of being pulled over someones knee and have my panties pushed down and be given a spanking. Having them reach between my legs and feel my growing wetness and them chastising me for being turned on by being spanked. This fantasy is one I often think about when I am playing with myself. I have been paddled and flogged but have never had a otk spanking. But as of recently I can say I have.



Cam and I were watching movies on his couch, cuddling under his blanket. Of course I was teasing him, kissing his ear putting my cold hands underneath his shirt and tickling him. After being very annoying he finally grabbed my hands and pulled me over him so that my butt was perfectly in place for him. He smacked my ass once or twice and I complained and wiggled telling him to stop, he simply smiled and said " I thought you enjoyed these kinds of things" I couldn't help but blush and say "so?"



While holding my wrists together with one hand he reached underneath me and undid my belt and pants. With some help he had my jeans and my panties around my knees. He gave me a practise smack or two before reaching one hand between my legs. After grinding his fingers into my clit he smacked me harder. Switching between both of my cheeks. I couldn't help but moan and bite my arm to keep from crying out, he would just look over at me and smile. I couldn't help myself and after a few good spanks in the exact same spot I cried out. Laughing he said in almost a disbelieving tone, " You really do enjoy this don't you?" I could only moan in reply muffled by my arms where I was hiding my head.

I remember the movie we were watching ending and a new one starting but I didn't care to watch. I found myself sinking in to his lap, and falling deeper with every spank. After crying out from having my sore bottom being pulverized by his hands I begged him to stop and let me rest. His fingers did not rest though, as they moved continuously while he spanked me he pushed them into me, fucking me until I was nearly delirious.

At one point I felt him move and I could hear metal clinking together. I looked up to him holding my belt, I couldn't help but feel scared. It was a canvas belt but through out the whole belt was metal rings. I tried to turn around and grab it from him. With a smile I begged him not to use the belt, he just pushed me down so I was face first again. I closed my eyes waiting for the belt to fall, with every moment I could hear the metal clanking. It fell on my heated ass, once, twice; twenty times before I was truly crying out.

After he put away my belt, I wiped my eyes and turned to him. He had a shit eating grin on his face and I couldn't help but laugh at him and ask if he enjoyed that as much as I did. He shifted his seating and smiling he said he did, and that he should buy himself a paddle or a crop for next time. I cant help but think I have created a monster lol one that I defiantly do not mind having around.

He picked me up so I could lay on the couch with him, my ass pushing into him. He slipped his cold hands into my shirt and pinched my nipples. Eventually he undid his jeans and slid them off, still rubbing my clit and fingering me. He pushed himself into me and slid in and out torturingly slow. After a while of doing this I turned my head and between moans asked if he wanted to move to the bed. He agreed and told me to go to the bed then, but he did not stop screwing me. Every time I would attempt to get up he would shift and fuck me harder. And he laugh would ask me why I was not moving. After giving up, he stopped and moved off the couch and led me in hand to the bedroom.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Hail Mary

I am a very shy person, I hate to ask for anything it really bothers me. I don't talk about myself very opening, about what I enjoy or desire. When I was younger my Mother was married to a very mean man that taught me that I was to be seen and never heard. For hours he would lock me in my room because he didn't like me. Because of this I am a very private person, I do not talk openly about things in my life to people. And I never ask for anything that would singly benefit myself.

So in an effort to stop that I am going to pour it all out here.

I have always wanted to be able to sit at someones feet and tell them all my wrong doings and discretion's. Have them take punishment out on my butt by spankings, I always feel in my fantasies that having that outlet where I am punished lets me let go of these things. I have a habit of obsessing over something I have done wrong, say at work or in my personal life. But to hand all of it over to someone and have them absolve me of them would be heavenly.

Now looking back over it, it does look quite a bit like a Catholic confession well minus the spanking. I am not Catholic nor have I ever had a chance to confess. It would be lovely though.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I rolled over and found myself trapped in his arms. He had snuggled up behind me and had wrapped me in both his arms. I couldn't help but smile at him as he dreamt.



We had decided to go for a movie, but it turned out that our movie wasn't going to be on until the next weekend. So after going for Chinese food we ended up on the couch watching movies. I told him I was freezing so Cam brought me a blanket. I am always cold, I don't know what is wrong with me but I have such bad circulation that I always need a blanket. I ended up kind of falling asleep with my head on his shoulder when he just looked at me and said "why don't we lay down"? Instantly I thought that he was trying to make a move on me as it was our third date together. Hesitantly I did lay down with him, with my head on his chest. At one point I actually did fall asleep laying with him. Next thing I knew he was standing over me saying something, I tried to shake my head, but I just didn't understand him at all. Next thing I knew he was walking away from me. Five minutes later and he still didn't come back, confused I walked to the bathroom and as I finished I could hear him say my name.



I looked into his room and seen him lying there on his bed. He looked at me again and asked if i wanted to borrow some pajama bottoms. I nodded and thanked him still half asleep. I changed from my jeans into the borrowed pants. I crawled into bed with him and he kissed me on the forehead and lay down with me. I kept expecting him to try to fondle me or make a move, but he didn't. We ended up sleeping till noon the next day, as we were laying there he told me he couldn't help not wanting to wake me up when we were on the couch because he was so comfortable with me there. I found new respect for him as he left me unmolested in his bed. Did I mention we shared a kiss or two. I am not a big kisser at all but when we kissed I felt a bolt of electricity shoot right out through my feet. I have a good feeling about him.

2nd Date

Cam gave me two options for dinner, either Pizza Hut or an upscale expensive place. After arguing for a little while he ended up choosing for me and took me out for a nice supper. We met there, and he walked me inside with his hand on my arm. The waiter sat us down and we got to see out over the lake, it was simply gorgeous. Just the way all the light twinkled off the water was just breathtaking. We talked for hours while sitting there, getting to know each other more. I learned that he liked country (ick!) and he learned that I like horror movies more the romantic ones. When we decided to leave, I tried to convince him that we should have gone and played at the park. As swings are some of my favorite things in the world, but seeing as how its winter and that it was minus 20 out we went to his house.



To say I was nervous would have been an understatment, I wondered if he was going to try and push me for sex and what I would do if he did. We ended up playing video games and being the dork and geek that I am, I can say that I honestly whipped his butt. After playing the games he had he and I drove to Wal-Mart and picked up a new game. It happened to be a ninja game, and incase you dont know I am a ninja on my own (hehe) We ended up playing about half the game and sat up until 1am laughing and joking.





We ended up talking about past realtionships and why we are single now. Turns out that he has only ever dated two girls but has had long realtionships with both. Its kinda nice to know that he didnt have a bunch of one month realtionships. He asked me about my last realtionship and I told him about my ex who didnt have a learners license or even a job for most of it. I told Cam that I had paid for everything and took care of him. Cam asked me if I was a good reciever because obviously I am a giver. I had to admit that I dont recieve very well, I dont know how to with out looking like I am greedy. He just smiled at me and said well we will just have to fix that.



Finally I decided that I would go home, he walked me to my car and gave me a hug again even though I was hoping for a kiss. He called me to make sure I had gotten home safe.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Crystal Ball

I do have a journal that I write in but its even more sporadically written in then this blog and I dont really feel comfortable writing in my journal at work so I am trying to document this possible relationship on my blog. So sorry if you get sick of the sick lovy dovy vanilla stuff then feel free to read and follow along. If not then dont ^^



Last month I went and visited a psychic that my mother likes to go to. I think I am a very sceptical person I do not instantly believe in everything. But I have always wanted to go to a physic an see what they would say about me. She actually lives in a town near me so I ended up going to her house. She was a big women and she lead me inside her house to her "office". There were crystal balls and pictures of witches everywhere, to say it was unusual was an understatement. She sat me down and explained to me a little of what she was going to do.



She brought out the tarot cards and started. She told me that I had a sister that lives far away and that she would be coming to visit me in about a month and hopefully it wasn't a surprise. (as this was about a month ago, my mom called to tell me my sister would be coming to visit this weekend) She told me that I would meet the one next fall and I would be moving in with him by next summer. That I would be married within the next 2 years and it would be a life long relationship. She told me I would have two children maybe three and that I would be well off, not rich but not to worried about the finances.

I know better then to believe that all of that will come true but to have some kind of hope is really nice. To have someone tell me and be sure of themselves that I will not be alone the rest of my life is always good news.
I went on a date not to long ago with a very interesting person. We met online on a vanilla dating website, and hit it off. I actually almost gave up on him as it took us a little while to get coordinated enough to meet. We were texting and trying to figure out how things were going to go and where we were going to meet. Eventually he gave up and just called me, we ended up talking for a good 20 mins before deciding we would meet for a game of pool. While driving there he called me and he sounded so very nervous, saying that even though he had seen pictures of me he wanted to make sure it was me by staying on the phone till we ran into each other. This kinda made me wonder if maybe he wasn't as attractive as his pictures lead to believe, as this has happened to me before. But as I walked around the corner and I almost bumped into him I couldn't help but smile. He was very handsome and taller then me.

We ended up playing about five games of pool together and unfortunately I lost every single one. Joking and laughing a lot we got along really well. Sitting down we talked about our online dating experiences and bad dates. Talking about tattoos and piercings he said that he seen a show on tv about a 300 pound girl with lots of piercings that liked to paddle guys. I couldn't help but giggle when he tried to explain all of it to me. I had not told him about my kink tendencies, so it was cute to see him getting flustered over it. I figured this time I was going to wait until the right time to talk about my sexuality.

He walked me back to my car and gave me a hug goodbye. By the time I got home he had texted me and by the next day we had a new date set up. Hmm very interesting...